What I Need

I thought I knew all the answers

The way My life should go

And when I say my prayers

I would tell God so..

At times, It seems like God did not listen

And I thought God did not care

But looking back at it now

It's plain to see that God has always been there...

I had prayed for strength

But I got pain instead to make me strong

I had prayed for courage

But I was given fear to overcome..

I had prayed for faith..

Until my empty heart brought me to my knees

I do not always get what I want

As God gives me only what I need

It's not as easy as it seems

And sometimes it hurts so much

Especially when nothing seems to go my way

Or when nothing seems to work

They tell me that to get better

I must go with the flow

Accepting that sometimes

The answer to a prayer is 'No'

 I had forgotten the lesson

That everytime I had a door slammed in my face

In time, a better one was opened in its place

Oh, I don't get what I want

But I get what I need....

Sometimes

Sometimes...

I do not do all the things that I should

Sometimes...

I do make a mess out of things

Sometimes..

I do get tied up with work and all my worries

But..

All the time..

I always think of you...

Moving Thoughts

Never Too Late

At the age of 19, I was in my second year of college and not sure what my major should really be. I was currently enrolled in liberal arts, not very exciting. All along I had in the back of my mind the desire to be just like the stewardess I had observed 2 years prior.

I decided to embark on the application process to the airlines. I pursued this painstaking process for 3 years and back then, there was no computers, no email, and all forms were obtained by hand typed letters and the mail service.

To my surprise I received 5 requests to be interviewed. Every airline interview I undertook I was well versed in the airline, their "stewardess" colors, their routes, etc. I made sure when presenting myself at an interview that I was dressed in their colors to look as close to being one of their own.

Letter after letter came stating "thank you but we regret to inform you the position has been filled" came to my mailbox. Year after year I continued my pursuit until I finally realized I must lack something that prevented my acceptance.

This was a devastating reality. I stopped sending out applications and pushed my deepest desire, my passion deep down inside me and went on with what life was to bring to me without the airlines. My future careers, from the age of 21 through 50, all held one common denominator; Customer Service related duties.

Whether I was a receptionist or in management, I always dealt with the public. During this time period, at the age of 31, I had my first child, a set of identical twin boys. Two years later I had my third son.

One year later I was divorced. Life was hard. I was financially devastated, overwhelmed with massive responsibilities, and three beautiful sons who made it possible for me to endure all of it. I reminded myself every morning to keep my faith in God and myself that I could be successful in anything I pursued, but the reality of my suppressed desire to fly was still ever present.

Unfortunately my responsibilities as a mother came first and not what I personally wanted to fulfill for myself. They WERE my life, and so it went on. The twins grew up, graduated from high school and left for college. 

When my third son was approaching high school graduation, in the Spring '05, I was currently unemployed from a company that did not understand compassion for their customers. It was all black and white style of business for them. I couldn't endure this cold environment anymore. In November '04, I left.

In January '05, I watched a T.V. program called "Airline" that depicted the everyday happenings of Southwest Airlines travelers. They profiled a Flight Attendant (not "Stewardess" anymore) that was a 50 year old widow, living alone since all her children were grown and had left home. She said she loved working with people and needed to get out of the house, her name was "Billy".

She said she had seen an advertisement for a Southwest Airline open house for flight attendants. She decided to attend and see what the position entailed. After going through the extensive application process, to her surprise, she was hired and sent to training.

Because of her exuberance and excitement for the job I realized that she was the same age as I was and if she could get in - so could I! And so it began again. I pursued a locally based airline so that I did not have to relocate. It took three months for this airline to have an open house in my area but I was ready to go. This open house took two hours and no matter what they said about any of the "torture" I would experience performing this job, I didn't care.

I knew from the time I decided to go the open house I was going to be a flight attendant. I knew I wouldn't fail and this was it. At the end of the open house we were told we would receive a call within the next two days, if they wanted to see us again for a second interview. I received one. One week later I was back doing the infamous "airline interview" but I wasn't nervous this time. I knew the path I had traveled through life had prepared me for this endeavor.

They once again told us we would receive a phone call within the next two days, if they had chosen us for training. My phone call came the next morning at 9 a.m. This was the end of March '05 and I was in training in Memphis, TN on April 9, 2005. Enduring a three week training program, which included a massive amount of studying, (which I hadn't done in 30 years) evacuations, testing, and watching fellow classmates being sent home one by one kept your emotions strung out so tight you felt like a rubber band ready to snap.

On top of all of this, we lived in a hotel but the special bond that was created between us all who survived this torture still lives. While in training, on April 26th, I turned the young age of 51 and on April 27th, I took my final exam - in uniform and passed. Graduation is a very special event and our bond with our trainers is embedded in our hearts forever.

They make graduation very memorable and special for every class. I am still a flight attendant and have been enjoying every minute for the past 5 years. I realize that I had made the right choice by leaving a job I hated with a passion to pursue a "last" career that would fulfill me and I could say I truly loved.

When I arrived at my home airport, my three sons and my mother were all lined up waiting for me and each one was holding a red rose. They were there to show me their enduring love and support for a woman (their mother and daughter) who took the biggest risk of her life to pursue her dream (at 50), who believed in herself strong enough to try, and to see her in uniform for the first time; the uniform she had been waiting a lifetime to wear.

A true story about the life of Denice B. - Flight Attendant, for life

Woman to Woman

Woman to woman encouragement 

Someone will always be prettier 

Someone will always be smarter. 

They will drive a better car. 

Their husband will fix more things around the house. 

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances. 

Think about it..... 

The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart

The most highly favored woman on your job may not have anyone in her life 

The richest woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes - might be lonely 

So.......love yourself. 

Love who you are right now. 

Tell yourself "I am too blessed to be stressed.

Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman. 

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you may be his/her world".

Mothers and Daughters

What is it about mothers and daughters?
What had made the relationship between mothers and daughters so volatile? Going from love to anger and back again to love?

Daughters often complain that 'My mother is always criticizing me' and mothers would respond by saying that 'Each time I open my mouth, my daughter takes everything as criticisms.

There seems to be a special kind of intensity between the two because talking can be the glue that holds a relationship together or the explosive that can blow it apart. That is why when you are having an amiable talk with your mother, suddenly without warning, you can find yourself wounded by bits from an exploded conversation.

Mother's opinions matter so much to a daughter. A small comment or just a look (without any words) can fill a daughter with hurt and anger. But in reality, the mother who has spent years watching out for her child cannot avoid giving comments as they believe that the 'adult' daughter is incapable of doing the right thing.

Mothers and daughters search for themselves in each other as if finding sameness affirms who they are. After her mother's death, one woman finds that she cuts onions and held the knife exactly like her mother used to do. The woman finds this comforting because it meant that her mother is still with her.

Sameness, however, can also make us cringe 'I sound just like my mother' is usually said with distaste. A mother says: 'My daughter can certainly turns my day black in a millisecond'. This can be true as daughters often treat their mothers more roughly than they would treat anyone else. A mother, in reality, may seem to devalue a daughter's choices because she doesn't understand the life that her daughter chose.

Reframing is often the key to dissipating anger. If a daughter can recognize that a criticism actually expresses concern, a mother should acknowledge that concern truly implies criticism and she will hold her tongue.

Success

Success is using to the maximum of the ability that you have.