Mothers and Daughters

What is it about mothers and daughters?
What had made the relationship between mothers and daughters so volatile? Going from love to anger and back again to love?

Daughters often complain that 'My mother is always criticizing me' and mothers would respond by saying that 'Each time I open my mouth, my daughter takes everything as criticisms.

There seems to be a special kind of intensity between the two because talking can be the glue that holds a relationship together or the explosive that can blow it apart. That is why when you are having an amiable talk with your mother, suddenly without warning, you can find yourself wounded by bits from an exploded conversation.

Mother's opinions matter so much to a daughter. A small comment or just a look (without any words) can fill a daughter with hurt and anger. But in reality, the mother who has spent years watching out for her child cannot avoid giving comments as they believe that the 'adult' daughter is incapable of doing the right thing.

Mothers and daughters search for themselves in each other as if finding sameness affirms who they are. After her mother's death, one woman finds that she cuts onions and held the knife exactly like her mother used to do. The woman finds this comforting because it meant that her mother is still with her.

Sameness, however, can also make us cringe 'I sound just like my mother' is usually said with distaste. A mother says: 'My daughter can certainly turns my day black in a millisecond'. This can be true as daughters often treat their mothers more roughly than they would treat anyone else. A mother, in reality, may seem to devalue a daughter's choices because she doesn't understand the life that her daughter chose.

Reframing is often the key to dissipating anger. If a daughter can recognize that a criticism actually expresses concern, a mother should acknowledge that concern truly implies criticism and she will hold her tongue.

Success

Success is using to the maximum of the ability that you have.

Be Happy

If you are not happy, what's the use of having all the money in the world?
Be contented with what you have and who you are.

When you age, you realize that a lot of things that you are upset about when you are young are actually quite trivial. When you let all that go, you will be happier.

Life's Lesson 2

Every once in a while, life hands you a moment so precious, so overwhelming, that you almost glow. When you experienced one of those moments, write it down and present it to another person, so that it might provide him/her a road map in his/hers journey in life...

Here are some of the lessons learnt from life :

* Pray not for things... but for wisdom and courage

* Never take action when you are angry

* Always enter a room with purpose and confidence.

* Do Not discuss business in elevators, you never know who may overhear you.

* Never pay for work before it's completed.

* Be willing to lose a battle in order to win the war

* Do Not Gossip

* Beware of the person who has nothing to lose

* When facing a difficult task, act as though it is impossible to fail.

* Do Not spread yourself too thin. Learn to say 'No' politely and quickly

* Do Not expect life to be fair

* Never underestimate the power of forgiveness

* Instead of using the word 'Problem', try substituting it with the word 'Opportunity'

Listening

When someone talks, listen and hear them out.
Put yourself in his/her's shoes.
Remember that there are always differences in backgrounds among us. even between members of the same family. Each person sees things from his or hers perspectives.

A first born child and one who has been an only child for a long time (and has been the center of attraction all the while) will worry at the thoughts of having a new additional member in the family. Child number two who has entered into a ready made family of three- with a sibling in the middle of it will view and expect things differently. Always try to reserve judgment until all facts are in.

Do not assume anything. What is being said might not seem important to you, but it is important to the speaker, or he would not have taken the time to say it. A good way to hurt someone's feeling is to ignore, even unintentionally, what he or she has to say. Take the time to listen, there's no such word as 'too busy' especially when it comes to those who are very close to you. There might not be a 'next time'..

Failure

We all go through tough times, and we all fail at one time or another.

These words by an unknown author have helped me through many times of testing. Perhaps, they will help you too:

Failing doesn't mean I'm a failure,

It just means I have not succeeded yet.

Failing doesn't mean I have accomplished nothing,

It just means I have learned something.

Failing doesn't mean I have been a fool,

It just means I have enough faith to experiment.

Failing doesn't mean I have been disgraced,
It just means I dared to try.

Failing doesn't mean I don't have what it takes,
It just means I have to try things differently next time.

Failing doesn't mean I am inferior,
It just means I'm not perfect.

Failing doesn't mean I have wasted my time,
It just means I have a reason to start over.

Failing doesn't mean I should give up,
It just means I must try harder.

Failing doesn't mean I'll never make it,
It just means I need more patience.

Failing doesn't mean I'm wrong,
It just means I must find a better way.

Failing doesn't mean God has abandoned me,
It just means I must obediently obey his will.

Better Tomorrow

I have lived a long life.

But if i could do it again, I'do some things differently.

I'd see people as people and not as shades of colour

I'd work harder and grumble less..

I'd be thankful for what I have

Rather than look at others with envy..

I'd still pray for prosperity and health

But I would'nt just wish them for myself

I'd understand

We can have disagreements

but there's no need for ill feelings

Back in my days, we hoped for a better tomorrow

But now i see..

It only begins if we take time to learn

from yesterday..