Homesick

How many of us can leave home and stay far away from their parents when they are only 5 years old? I know I wouldn't have that kind of courage..

At 30 I thought that I was way past that stage of feeling homesick but I was wrong. Recently, I had had to relocate because of a new job and I planned to rent a room on weekdays and only rush home for a visit on weekends. Little did I anticipate the feeling of homesickness would envelop me soon.

As I cleaned the rented room and unpack my things, I had to battle with my ambivalent feelings : between happiness to begin a new chapter in my life and the sadness of leaving home. The pouring rain outside the window did nothing to soothe my feelings. When the rain finally cleared later in the evening, the smell of a neighbour coking fried mee brought thoughts of mom's cooking and immediately the sense of sadness increased. How weird it was, as I had just said goodbye to her this morning.

As night approached, I began to have second thoughts about moving to this new place. Images of dad reading the newspaper and mom watching the television played in my mind. I would just give anything at that moment to be back at home. I wish I could say that things got much better the next few days. Instead my longing for home just grew stronger. I wonder why.

This was not the first time I lived far away from home. Neither was this my first experience at being alone. But then, why did my heart feels so heavy and why did I keep counting the hours till Friday?

It was then that I realised the true meaning of homesickness. It is when we are forced to do ordinary things in an unfamiliar setting. I have still to go to work, eat, have dinner and sleep the same as I did at home. However, without the familiarsettings: Family , friends and home. This is truly homesickness..

Who Could Wish For More

Even by standards of long ago, it was a primitive place.
There were no electricity and the roads were not paved. The houses there did not have any plumbing. A dirt road heads to the mountain, while another heads down to the creek.

Lacking electricity, we went to bed early and rose each morning while dew was still on the grass. Kerosene lamps were cleaned early morning by the gossiping women and children were sent to the well or small river to get fresh water.

The best time would be in summer. Hummingbirds with tiny wings fluttering so fast were feeding from the flowers. To avoid the mid afternoon heat, the women would draw window shades and spread blankets on the floor for a nap. In the fields, the herds crowded under the shade of spreading trees. Everything seemed to stand still in the afternoon, and yet you could hear small sounds..bees buzzing, birds whistling nearby the porch. You could walk to the hen house and watch a hen perform the mystery of laying an egg.

As the sun was falling, men drifted back to their own houses hot and tired. They took their bath from the water that we, kids, had hauled up earlier from the river. Asdusk deepened, you could see fireflies flying towards the kerosene lamps, just waiting to be caught and bottled by us. As twilight changed to night, an owl's hoot can be heard from nearby. I was not afraid of owls at that time.

As the 4 of us sat on the porch 1 night, we saw a shooting star. Someone said, 'Make a wish!'I did not know what he meant at that moment. I did not know anything that I would wish for.

The Last..

Only after the last tree has been cut down

Only after the last river has been poisoned

Only after the last fish has been caught

Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten..

Regret would be just a tad too late...