Homesick

How many of us can leave home and stay far away from their parents when they are only 5 years old? I know I wouldn't have that kind of courage..

At 30 I thought that I was way past that stage of feeling homesick but I was wrong. Recently, I had had to relocate because of a new job and I planned to rent a room on weekdays and only rush home for a visit on weekends. Little did I anticipate the feeling of homesickness would envelop me soon.

As I cleaned the rented room and unpack my things, I had to battle with my ambivalent feelings : between happiness to begin a new chapter in my life and the sadness of leaving home. The pouring rain outside the window did nothing to soothe my feelings. When the rain finally cleared later in the evening, the smell of a neighbour coking fried mee brought thoughts of mom's cooking and immediately the sense of sadness increased. How weird it was, as I had just said goodbye to her this morning.

As night approached, I began to have second thoughts about moving to this new place. Images of dad reading the newspaper and mom watching the television played in my mind. I would just give anything at that moment to be back at home. I wish I could say that things got much better the next few days. Instead my longing for home just grew stronger. I wonder why.

This was not the first time I lived far away from home. Neither was this my first experience at being alone. But then, why did my heart feels so heavy and why did I keep counting the hours till Friday?

It was then that I realised the true meaning of homesickness. It is when we are forced to do ordinary things in an unfamiliar setting. I have still to go to work, eat, have dinner and sleep the same as I did at home. However, without the familiarsettings: Family , friends and home. This is truly homesickness..